Saturday, August 8, 2009

Life is About Choices, Day 13

What I find interesting is that finding a truth I've resisted or somehow managed to overlook doesn't necessarily make things easier. I used to be certain that life would be so much easier if the following was like this blah blah blah. But as it turns out, life is a lesson. So when you figure something out, something new comes along to baffle us!

My life used to be a soap opera. I've been given a nickname Drama Mama. A friend said that drama is my stalker ex-boyfriend who won't leave me alone. It used to seem like anything that can get in the way did get in the way. I reacted to everything like it was a battle because it was presented like a battle. Instead of accepting or surrendering the circumstance, I fought it, which was actually appropriate at the time. But I've come to realize that life is about choices. In my case, the choices that exist sucks. Sometimes it's about picking your own poison. Not ideal but it is what it is.

I used to miss the edge I had when I was constantly combative. That strong presence and resistance I had. It used to feel like I only had one choice ahead of me, but I could choose whether I took that path or not. So there always were choices. But now life has become about the paradox of choice. Sometimes things are worth pursuing, sometimes they aren't. How do you know what the right choice is? If I wait and let the air guide me, what if it's too late?

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