Saturday, August 15, 2009

1 N, Day 20

I used to think that feelings were like water or fire. Emotions can be still, calm but unpredictably intense and uncontrollable. I suppose air (wind) can also represent that kind of emotion, but air is invisible just like emotions. You don't see it; you feel it. Right now I think the element I relate to most is air. I used to feel that the air and earth elements were most unfamiliar to me, and they were. I'm starting to understand why. Feelings are intangible. They aren't solid objects that you can hold, see, or even understand. They just are what they are. Such abstract, undefined concepts were too foreign for me to grasp. Now that I've finally become emotionally-connected, I'm better able to relate to it.

It makes sense that emotional discoveries will be rooted from an emotional experience. But what surprises me is my reaction to it, an absence of emotional response, just a sense of expectedness. Maybe if I weren't so neutral, I would find some strength to be disappointed and saddened by what I envision. But I'm just me.

The air carries and floats on by without a direction to follow or a pre-destination planned out. They go wherever they go and end up wherever they end up. It's strong and real. Just as quickly as feelings can grow, it can just as easily move a different direction. Like the air that gives us life, feelings give our soul -----

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