Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Writer Who's a Girl or a Girl Who Writes? Day 67

I've become interested in writing because it was a "safe" way for me to express how I feel, but I think I've come to the realization that writing has crippled my ability to feel in a healthy, functional way because it provides me with the opportunity to filter out certain emotions. Instead of letting my feelings wash over me, my writing keeps me focused on some thoughts more than others. I over think to a dysfunctional degree. With so many thoughts piling up, I feel like certain emotions escape me so to speak.

I'm not saying that writing is negative, or anything, but I finally realized that writing doesn't define me. I define what writing is for me. It's like I have this idolized idea of what writing is only to realize that it's not true. Just as writing has the ability to help me process my emotions, it also has the ability to stifle it like water. Water is neither good or bad. It's neutral. How you use water determines whether it's beneficial or harmful for you. Writing is my form of water. Water conveys emotions for me.

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