Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Emotions, A New and Foreign Language for Me, Day 68 Again

I've had some difficulties with my "official" property manager and the oblivious, foreign tenant who was manipulated into taking over the responsibility of managing some of the units. My utility is included in the rent. I feel bad for the person who's now responsible for paying for the cost of utility who has to pay the excess remaining balance that isn't covered in the rent. But I can't afford to pay for someone else's mistakes.

And, quite honestly, the cold bitch in me is firmly against it. No one ever coddled me from my mistakes. If anything, they kicked me into a mistake and gave me crap for not getting out of it quickly enough. Clearly these are my personal issues I shouldn't transfer over, though. And I try my hardest not to, but apparently I've been unsuccessful. Even if I conceal it, I shouldn't put myself in that situation where I reference the past in relation to me.

That aside I've discovered that how I come off and my intended delivery can be varyingly different. It's been brought to my attention that my firmness is interpreted as aggression. That's not my intention nor my desire, but I'm not really sure how to change that. If your communication skills are weak, and I tell you slowly but not condescendingly how things are, I don't see how that's aggressive.

It was expressed how important it is for me to not lose my identity as I try to be more receptive to the feelings of others. That's honestly not a concern of mine. I think my identity will be intact. And more than likely, I'll keep that same edge and approach things similarly to how I do now. But I also want to be aware of the consequences of my actions and understand my observations. That means I have to learn an entirely new language.

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