Saturday, September 5, 2009

Releasing Emotional Toxins, Day "40"

Today I woke up feeling less burdened and freer from my thoughts that have been tormenting me, but I knew that how I reacted would eventually start to weigh on me, which it has. A series of events happened to me that made me feel like I was releasing emotional toxins. I was surrounded by external negativity, which I did my best to neutralize. I felt like I was breathing out negativity, so I felt clouded by it until the air cleared. I needed to go through that cleansing process. I experienced epiphanies throughout the day, but I don't even remember what they are now as my exhaustion takes over. With every breath I take, I try my best release the toxins that contaminated me. Yesterday my emotions took over me, and I was a hostage to the water element.

I haven't experienced anything like that since the breakup. I thought I made so much more progress in managing my emotions or tolerating my circumstances, and although I have, I realized that I still have the same challenges. I just choose to deal with them better. I'm hoping to reach a state where I won't just be tolerating it until I crumble, and I can manage it better because I realize how small it is in the grand scheme of things.

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