Tuesday, September 8, 2009

A Perspective Alignment, Day 44

I have no time to eat. I hate it when people say they don't have time for anything when they go out and have a social life. You have time; you just choose to spend it differently. But when I'm unable to eat, there really is no time. This makes me vulnerable to mood swings and poor management skills. I don't have a printer, so I'm constantly standing in line for hours sometimes waiting to print out paper I could barely afford. I could easily walk to a print store, but I'm trying to avoid the sun. Crossing the street today has led to five prominent sun poison rashes already. I can't afford to take the bus. The trolley which is supposed to offer student discount bus passes hasn't been open each time I go by there which is several times a day. I need to use about six books, all of which I can borrow only one at a time (I'm not sure how accurate that is), and I have to wait until it becomes available. The assignments I have to complete aren't a breeze but not difficult to do. Accessing the resources necessary to complete the task is another story. I have to read about 60 poems, analyze them, answer some questions, critique a classmate's poem assessment (one I'm not in a position to fulfill), find 100 words I really like, find synonyms for them, and write a poem based on them. I also have a profile to write which isn't difficult. My chem assignment is pretty straightforward, but I'm such a slow reader. That'll be my challenge. When I'm finally finished reading the material, I'll have to return the book. -____- I still have to stop by the bank and pick up my rent check and deposit my money for the storage unit. I also have to pay my credit bills off. I've resorted to alternating when I do hand laundry because I can't afford to use the washer and dryer.

There's so much going on in my life right now that everything's weighing down on me. I'm so susceptible to engaging in my addictive personality and begin a bitch blog, which is the last thing I want. It's time for a perspective alignment! I asked for this. I chose this. It sucks and it's difficult, but this is my life. This is my choice.

I struggle to stay strong. I do these things because my goals are important to me. I chose two classes to evolve as a writer only to discover that it's not my writing that needs improvement but my ability to connect as a person, a life worthy lesson. It'll deepen the relationships that I have and open new opportunities I've yet to discover. This chem class is the most accommodating to students who can't understand science. My classes are practically personalized to the needs I have to address.

I always get sun poison, and I always push through it. I've never been rich and have done just fine. My time management skills were poor until I learned how to improve it. This is just another opportunity to improve in a different circumstance. This semester will require me to stay focused in an unfocused environment. I'll eventually adapt and when I do, it'll open a new world to me. I just have to accept the inconvenient circumstances for what they are so that I'm able to learn from them.

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