Monday, September 7, 2009

A Foreigner in a Strange Land, Day 43

Today was a different day for me than usual. I woke up to friends inviting me to hit the beach, which unfortunately didn't work out. I have school on Mondays except today was Labor Day. When I arrived at work, no one else was and it was closed. I was hoping that meant I could enjoy a sunny day at the beach and fix my tan lines but no such luck.

Instead I hung out with friends at a common spot, but today I didn't have my laptop on me. I went the entire day without facebook, and I didn't die. It was an unusual experience for me. As social as I am, I felt out of place today as my friends were studying math. I felt like a foreigner in a strange land. My friends didn't make me feel inadequate in any way, but it was a world that I couldn't penetrate or understand.

I get premonitions. I live in a reality that I can't understand, and it's a world full of "insights." I struggle with it, but I don't feel like a stranger to it. I'm disturbed by my feeling that I'm inadequate in some way because my friends are intellectually-superior to me. I know that's a flawed perspective, though. I connect with them. It's one thing to connect with idiots. We all possess stupidity, but not everyone is intelligent. I relate with them because of the intelligence I possess. I think I'm confusing intelligence with knowledge again, but it's hard for me to remember than I'm also intelligent when I'm unable to demonstrate it. I don't always feel intelligent, but I don't always feel minimal in knowledge, too.

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