I've been considering moving for quite some time and if anyone's been keeping up with my blog, it's not new information. But I've started thinking about it more recently. So much so that today I began browsing craigslist. I'm still uncertain if this job will turn into a permanent one, but part of being intuitive is developing confidence in myself because imbalance distorts perception. For someone of over confidence, perhaps humility is required. In my case, however, it's quite the opposite.
Time will reveal the outcome. No amount of contemplating will advance the answer to me any quicker. (My how much I've grown. LOL) Anyways I'm going through the typical series of considerations, but this time I'm not narrowing my choices or blind to what my choices are. Despite the many jobs I've had, this is the first one that's closeby to where I live and easy to commute to. People live nearby where they live all the time, but I've never experienced this before.
I really enjoy the convenience. People used to be appalled by how far away I was from everything - friends, work, school, home, etc. I just thought it was my life. Now I like to call it standards. :) So nearby commute is a priority. By enjoying the benefit of it, I won't feel so depressed or imprisoned to a higher rental fee. I used to get briefly jealous that others always seem to find better deals than me. That pang of envy didn't last long since my life hurricaned one disaster after another.
My chaotic life forced me to not be petty. Now that I have time to feel how I feel, I'm not wasting it on asinine feelings and directly them outwards. I'm really taking the time to focus on what matters to me cuz the truth is no matter what decisions I make, there's going to be some sort of challenge somewhere whether it be exchanging a long commute for cheaper rent or higher rental fees for a closeby area. With that mentality expressed, I want to be open and receptive to cheap rent nearby. :)
Finding a place with utilities included would be wonderful cuz I've gotten used to not budgeting, which I could get away with cuz my expenses are pre-fixed. When I have to pay something, I pay well in advance so I don't have to deal with a bill monthly. I only charge on my credit card what I know I have money for. I withdrawal the smallest amount of $ I possibly need for food and only access that for food. I do the same with credit cards. Having a bank nearby is a super convenience! Gotta factor that into my moving, too.
I want to move even though I love my space cuz I don't want to become stagnant, and I can feel myself drowning in it. Part of it has to do with my habits, but it's also cuz I don't value my space. Whether my space is clean or cluttered, it feels the same to me cuz it's lacking that flowing energy. Even when I practice feng shui cuz I'm no longer stimulated and excited by it. I need something new.
It was a great experience to learn to cook huge meals without a kitchen and let go of a lot of my material possessions. It's quite liberating actually and I never thought I'd enjoy being a minimalist cuz the excessiveness of my life comforted me. It shielded me from the chaoticness of my life but what we give off is what we take in. Now I surround myself with less things and I'm lighter, so I attract lighter energy. That's a valuable lesson I couldn't have learned without living here, I believe.
But now it's time for a kitchen. A balcony to grow plants would be nice, too. Sometimes I get premonitions. That's when I see into the future clearly with quite a bit of detail. It doesn't always come true, but it's more solid than a mere thought which can be my free mind accessing intuitive possibility which may sound like the same thing but it's not. However, I can manifest it. Finding a balcony with my budget close to work seems unlikely, but I found something promising on craigslist already. If I continue to manifest my desires, I believe more doors will open up.
So let's review. An apartment with a kitchen for sure! Easy access to work. Preferably a balcony for plant life and utilities included. Washer and dryer must be on site. I'd like a space with hardwood floors or else I may just pull the carpet out. But what if it's damaged with holes? Can any amount of glossy finish fix nicks? Now that I've visited the parania realm, I'm returning to my happy place where I focus my energy manifesting positive desires.
Where I live now, you can hear everything. Walking around makes audible noise. I have no desire to go through the trouble of installing a TV, but at my new place, it'd be nice if it's a possibility. I don't plan on buying cable or anything. However, I'd love to be able to turn on workout DVDs. I'd appreciate that greatly cuz I want this space to be healthy - healthy holistically, nutritiously, emotionally, physically, spiritually, decoratively, artistically, mentally, internally, musically, and socially. Wow, I covered a lot there and I really should give them attention.
I'm going to let the thoughts marinade and return to them tomorrow. I'm beginning to realize the value of processing things subconsciously, rather than surfacing them analytically before they've had time to blossom and fully develop. Shuss for now!
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