Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Fluctuate Freely...

Pomegranate corn. Izzy. Harry Stamper. Mom. The pain on my left side I'm too afraid to see the doctor about. Relief. The one bedroom apt I'm not really desiring but think of cuz I desire a different environment. To separate myself and take myself out of this stagnation my apartment fills me with. The desire for an actual kitchen fades as I realize I cook more in my non-kitchen than others who have actual kitchens. The pain in my side still burns. Be receptive. The gnawing hunger in my stomach settles in deeper. My skirt keeps shifting. Gotta go to the bank. Raspberry Surprise, awesome title. She's going to Reno. Good for her. He's not going. I think he's made the right choice. I'm relieved but shocked by his reaction. How was I supposed to know he didn't want to share details of his future with me? Sounds naive as I type it out but he used to be open about those things. Things change. And I caused it. But a girl should be told. How am I supposed to know? Sometimes packaging has more appeal than substance ie eos lip balm. A circular lip balm. Substance > Outer Shell. Remember. Celestial experiences. Was never with him but him. Pomegranate corn. Izzy. March and April Cycle. Hiking during a full moon. Paradox of Choice. Stay here. Cruise somewhere else. Commercial print. Bartending... Nutrition Coach? What kind of schooling? Focus. Focus. Focus. Where did it go? Must go to the bank. Remember. Stay here really means stay here. Same apartment, same crap... Need change. No, change isn't necessary. Not unlike water and oxygen. But change is like art, adds a breath of life to existence. Art journaling. Neglected. Colors bleed onto pages. Uniformity, consistency, and control is abandoned. Much like life. Life fills me with boredom. Looking for that oomph. Speaking of oomph...girl's got needs. Decisions, decisions about the future. Health and life is so fragile. Harry Stamper. Raspberry Surprise. Pomegranate corn. Izzy. Fluctuate freely. Lamb dinner. Celestial experiences. Picnic dates. Psychic connections. The pain on my side. Persistent.

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