Much like relationships, it takes time to find things with quality and substance that we're compatible, receptive, and interested in. We go through a series of trials and errors. More often than not, we go through bad seeds and negative experiences first. I've come to realize that these unpleasant encounters shouldn't be viewed as mistakes but as lessons to be learned. Yes, much of these lessons are born through mistakes. But when we perceive them as mistakes, we develop a sense of inadequacy, insecurity, and regret. We lose the lesson because we focus and shift our energy on the wrong area. It's important to guard ourselves against that or else we lose years we could've spent educating ourselves and growing as a result.
After a considerable amount of time of landing short-lived, incompatible, and unacceptable work conditions, I finally obtained one that suits me well based on my performance abilities, desires, and personal interests. The pay is adequate, although not ideal. But it's a start and a fair one considering my responsibilities. It's slow paced enough that I'm able to work on my personal writing projects. I'm not financially vulnerable. I'm able to meet my financial needs and have a litle bit of a cushion. I'm surrounded by professional and mature people.
I'm regaining the positive energy within my surrounding. I'm slowly but surely eliminating an attraction for opposite sex friendships that have sexual agendas. I'm reconnecting with genuine people of the opposite sex who can, do, and prefer platonic friendships. I'm becoming comfortable with distancing myself from people who intuitively put me off for whatever reason.
After numerous years of attracting musicians into my life, I'm finally beginning to expose myself to it. I was told by a friend that I have a good ear for rhythm. And I could tell that he was genuine. Not the kind of thing someone says to be encouraging but the creative and rhymthmic flow was so powerful that he was excited and moved by it. It was an amazing experience.
I've been searching for answers on my path to personal fulfillment and career success. I've embraced that my mind rejects many conventional methods to obtain these things. But up until recently I've been at a loss for what MY path is. I'm still soul searching, but at least now I feel like I'm looking in the right direction.
I'm managing my intuition, so it doesn't overpower me. I'm learning to control my manifestation powers. I want to explore modeling and acting, which is something that's always appealed to me. But I've always been intimidated and too insecure to embrace it. I still have a lot of insecurities I need to work on, but I'm able to be honest with myself. I may doubt my attraction from time to time, but I recognize my beauty. That's a huge step for me.
I want to go into hand modeling, and there are certain people who I suspect have romantic or sexual interest in me that have offered to use me in their photography. Some of these people are good-hearted, but I don't want to be in situations where I have to reject people. Their energy is powerful and it's so much bigger than their actions, even if they choose to respect my decision that I'm not interested. I don't want to attract people like them with similar energy into my life. Everything has energy, and every energy has power. Some of it amplifies our energy and others deplete us. I'm only interested in replenishing and multiplying energy conducive to my goals and desires.
I started thinking about how convenient it would be to get someone's assistance immediately as I was waiting for someone else to provide me with their resources. Then the person I was contemplating to reach out to began to connect with me. I resisted in seeking his services, and my other resource came through just in the nick of time. Sometimes we have to trust our intuition and wait for what we truly want, rather than settle for what's available to us because things take time.
The things that matter to me and things I've been asking the universe to provide me with is finally starting to enter my life. The one aspect of my life that I'm not too happy with exhibits a level of uncertainty. But even that could be going in the direction that's best for me. Sometimes it's just hard to let go is all. I just have to remember that everything happens for a reason.