Monday, February 6, 2012

Love is Louder

This weekend I helped a really good friend of mine work on a documentary called Love is Louder. It's a beautiful message, and I'm honored to be included in such a powerful message. I love that I'm friends with someone who would get involved in a project like this and that she thought of me. I believe I was the first or one of the first people she hit up to share her vision.

I guess it's a testament of how much I've truly grown and evolved over the years. it takes a while for us to examine ourselves and really see how much we need to improve ourselves. Then we spend what seems like an exhaustibly long amount of time feeling helpless, unsure on how to proceed to become a better version of ourseles. When we finally gain some insights, which is still bleak and vague in the beginning, there's still an overwhelming amount of confusion. There's helplessness from not knowing the answers, and we begin to believe that once we find them, we'll be able to start our journey on self-improvement. But as time reveals, it's not quite so straightforward. Having the answers isn't the same as having a map.

Eventually my impatience led me to start moving anywhere, but I got lost and relapsed a lot. It's funny describing this cuz although I know it to be true, I couldn't give you any examples. Then all of a sudden out of a fog, it's like we found clarity and we're not quite so certain how we got there. Or at least that's how it was for me. So sometimes I forget the progress I've made cuz it's so much a natural part of me, but blessings like these are a wonderful reminder.

I'm glad that I've become a confident, secure, and comfortable enough of a person to express that I'm intelligent, insightful, sensitive, considerate, and caring enough that someone would ask my opinion on something so incredible! I, by no means, am trying to shift focus away from what turly matters, this documentary, but I really just wanted to express self-gratitude because I wasn't always this person. There's something exhilarating about being a part of something greater than ourselves because we were considered worthy and to be able to contribute to something like this. I was also really proud with my performance. In my scene, I cried and drank and portrayed a sense of aloneness until I was reminded otherwise.

I asked another friend to be a part of this, and he was amped to do it. It was the first time both of my friends met, and she was really grateful. I'm not surprised at all. Everything just came together organically, and I couldn't be more excited to see the final project! :)

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