Thursday, April 15, 2010

You Never Really Know a Person, Day 105

So my garden variety roommate drama is officially over. Well, maybe not over...but it's mutated into something more intense and alarming but hopefully it isn't dangerous. I've been living in another unit in this complex for quite some time now because my boyfriend lived there. And I met a guy, his roommate, who I came to consider a friend. He was always polite, friendly, kind, and appeared to be caring and compassionate, even gentle. I've had really long talks with him about traveling, too. I wouldn't have even considered feeling threatened or in danger by him until very recently.

It's made me realize that you never really know a person, even if you live with them. I guess this sounds like a classic case, but when it's more than a generic story that's explained to you and you experience it for yourself, it adds a new dimension to it. Surprise and shock jumps out of you. A roommate of mine has described him as weird to me, but I quickly dismissed it. From what I saw, I said he's one of the good guys.

Up until recently, everyone I know who's had an encounter with him also had only positive things to say. But in reality he's always been one-dimensional. So it makes you wonder what he was trying to hide. I was so busy appreciating his kindness that I didn't question his motives. He gave me no reason to.

That is until now. He's been fixated on another roommate of mine after she had some brief encounters with him. He's been text stalking her even after she explicitly rejected him and some of his texts has included undefined threats but still threats none the less. The comments were left open to interpretation, but the evidence irrefutably indicates a disturbed person. An intelligent man who has the capacity to understand rejection but continues to pursue and reveal a hidden addictive behavioral pattern, as well as a hostile energy deserves some thoughts of concern.

I didn't know it at the time, but his drastic change in his mood correlated with my roommate rejecting him. But as far as I knew, his source of anger and hostility was caused and directed only towards his roommate. The extremity of tension was greatly exaggerated in proportion to the actual problems between roommates, but I wasn't involved nor did I directly witness any confrontations. So I wasn't aware of any of this.

Earlier in the week, my so-called friend barged into my apartment and threatened someone through me. Both my roommate and I had to repeatedly tell him to leave or we'd call the cops before he finally obliged. The threat left us frightened and we all agreed that it'd be best for me to not stay there the night. So I crashed at a friend's place, but my roommate didn't feel that it was safe for me to even walk outside alone where my friend was parked. Even the idea of going just outside sounded unsafe, and it wasn't just her.

A few friends of mine who know this guy told me to stay exactly where I was and they'd walk me to me outside. Virtually everyone who I know that's met the guy and befriended him now fear for all of our safety. I shared my concern with friends in the complex, and we now have a protocol we follow. What does that tell you?

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