Desires and Realities, Day 119

Desires and realities are sometimes mutually exclusive, be it self-fulfilling prophecy, a victim of circumstance, or the universe's ultimate plan. Sometimes I miss the neatly packaged me, stuffed away in color-coordinated, labeled boxes shuffled into storage, out of sight, out of mind. Everything was organized, accessible, tangible, and as close to concrete as humanly possible without being dead. Now I'm all splashy and disheveled, my insides oozing out for all to see in this decrepit home I call my heart, steps away from my soul. Humiliated and exposed, feeling weaker than I've ever been. Say goodbye to Miss Calculated OCD Bitch and hello to my inner Pisces! I borderline on insanity as I try to balance between realities, being pulled from corner to corner by my premonitions that take me hostage, paralyze, and spit me out temporarily just so I can recover before the intermission ends and I'm tossed and thrashed around in another roller coaster. And the chaos continues.