Unfamiliarity terrifies me and sometimes more than being alone. That's reality. My biggest fear isn't being alone. My biggest fear is unfamiliarity to such a dangerous degree that I'm willing to sabotage anything foreign from entering. If I only welcome what I already know, I'll just continue to perpetuate the cycle of darkness, though. So I can't beat the fear out of me, but I also can't wait until it escapes me. Ideally, I wouldn't be afraid. When's life ever ideal, though? Sometimes happiness comes knocking on your door, and it isn't often. I can either continue to ignore it or take a chance.
Sure there's a chance that a guy will run away. It's happened before, and it can happen again. But that's not a good enough of a reason for me to stay in the shadows. Eventually I'll find someone who's right for me but only after I actually come out from the shadows. He may now be in my past, but I should start practicing. It's not like I never had happy moments, I just never keep a record of it. Speaking of records....epiphany!