Monday, May 3, 2010

Will Normality Seize to Exist? Days 122 and 123

The past couple of days have been...dare I say it? Normal. If I were to guess....I've never had normal days, so it's hard to tell. I know some friends would say that my drama-free day wouldn't count because I was rather reclusive. I did go and have sushi with my roommate. I've opened up to her a lot, and she's really been there for me. But it was the first time we actually hung out. I think that's really crazy.

Friendships, relationships, and bonding with people develop in unexpected, surprising, and sometimes spontaneous ways. Sometimes it feels natural and other times it creeps up on you. I've learned that it can even be a delightful surprise. It works mysteriously the way time does for me. I wholeheartedly believe this in a paradoxically contradicting sort of way because I'm currently reading a book by Jana Levin, A Madman Dreams of Turing Machines, written by a physicist. So, what I just expressed is arguably incorrect. I'd rather not explore that area of confusion.

So back to my previous trail of thought...Time passes, progresses, and sometimes feel like it's moving in opposing directions and even backwards. Time seems to escape me more than I'm able to capture it. I suppose that's the case for everyone, but I find myself losing time lines. It's as though the memories are frozen in time, protected from being deleted in my mind, yet I lose all sense of when it happened. I suppose it's better to remember the moments than being able to recollect exactly when it happened like a record keeper, but I just felt like expressing that.

So my roommate and I enjoyed eating sushi. We talked and did regular friend stuff. That's pretty normal, right? Some of you may wonder why that's so significant, but very rarely am I ever exposed to normality. So this is a big deal for me.

Then again, I've had some rather unusual experiences. After sushi, we went to the 99 cent store and bought some artwork to decorate our space. She helped me and now my home looks really pretty. I do enjoy decorating, but there's a lot of indecisiveness and seemingly unnecessary precision that's involved because I seem incapable of hanging things up successfully. It's the first time I was able to successfully eyeball it. I have a yellow flower at a lower height than a purple flower. I'm impressed that my OCD tolerates it. Darker colors usually must go on top unless a picture appears heavier, then it can go on the bottom. I would argue that it was a rather normal experience.

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