Monday, January 4, 2010

A New Year or a Continuation? Days 1, 2, 3, and 4

Hello New Year! I decided to restart my 365-a-Day Project in the New Year because I made the mistake of not counting days that I didn't blog. I felt that I didn't deserve to count those days, but they're still a part of the year. So I feel I should include them. I want a fresh start.

I really wanted to write a check that says 1/1/10, but I didn't get a chance to. :( I've also been negligent about this blog, and I want to make an effort towards correcting that. Last year was my emotional awakening. I plan to explore it further. I, as always, have some New Year's Resolutions.

1) I want to find a new job that's financially secure and will offer me stability. Money is tight, so I can't afford to be picky. But if I'm going to seek another job, I don't want to switch to another place that offers me the same toxic environment I'm desperately trying to escape. That's self-defeating and a waste of energy. So I want to be conscientious of that as I look for new opportunities.

2) I want to better manage my OCD because my neuroses manifests in subtle ways that I can't always recognize. I do a much better job controlling it than others with OCD because I have a better awareness of it and am able to handle myself emotionally to minimize it, but sometimes I'm not aware of it. When that happens, other people suffer more than me. I don't want that for anyone.

3) A spiritualist told me that I should laugh, sing, and paint. I think these are great ideas that I want to incorporate.

4) Last year I had a New Year's Resolution to define my fashion sense, but all I did was explore my fashion sense. I didn't accomplish what I had specified, but I'm still proud of myself. After all, how can I define my style if I don't explore what my choices are? It's a necessary process.

I like jewelry you can find at flea markets. I like crystals and gemstones. It's convenient because it's affordable. There's a lot of clothes I stayed away from because it didn't offer me exactly what I wanted which means that I have to search harder. I'm not willing to put in that much energy, but I now have people in my life who are more than willing to help me and can virtually offer me a cheat sheet. Since I have a better idea of what I like, it also allows me to refine my search.

5) In life, there are givers and takers. If you're a giver, you'll have takers in your life. It's the balance of the universe. I'm a hybrid between a giver and a taker. I tend to be heavier on one side with some people than others, but it's important for me to find balance between them for my personal and emotional harmony, which, in turn, affect the people around me.

6) I want to clear my debt. For years I've been so good about maintaining good credit and then the economy dropped. -____-

7) I want to create a better financial diversification system. I'm ambitious about the things I want to do. Unfortunately they cost money such as crafts, creating my own skincare products, buying skincare products, etc. I'm better off buying things at snail slow speed that I can eventually use, rather than waiting until I can get everything at once. I need a better prioritizing system.

8) I want to continue writing but focus more on areas I keep putting off such as materials I'd like to publish. I have a project I've been hesitating on pursuing but feel that I should. There's a subject I want to collaborate on with a friend. There are two topics that are already established that I want to further develop.

9) I want to return to my healthier habits of eating and exercising. I want to stretch more and tone my abs.

10) I want to go to a sweat lodge.

11) I want to take more pictures. I have to find a case for my camera. I carry it everywhere, and I'm not the most careful person. Yet I never have a case for my camera. Epic fail!

12) I want to find cheap fun. Festivals, parades, conventions, cheap movies, etc. I'm interested in those things and do them, but I feel that I need to find more of them because I find myself at home when I have no money. I'm not down with that.

13) I want to return to my cleaner, neater, organized self. I miss her!

I'm sure there's more, but I'll leave it at that for now. I'll add more as they come along.

14) I made it a New Year's Resolution/gift/reward to get myself a pretty journal every year. The writer in me will greatly appreciate it. Plus it's helpful for me to carry around something I can write in and take notes for when I get a spark of writing genius or as a way to remember important details.

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