It opened my eyes to things. It was remarkable. But there are drawbacks to being in a heightened state of awareness. Everything is amplified. It's great if I'm 95% happy, and it feels like 200%. But I could be content with 95%. I didn't ask for the extra boost or the crappy price that comes with it. If I feel like shit, that gets amplified, too.
And I pick up on the feelings of others, too. That's the worst part. I don't want to know how you feel unless you tell me. Even then sometimes I wish people would keep it to themselves. It's confusing, complicated, disruptive, damaging, and strenuous.
I had my first panic of this year. Mark it on the calendar people. January 11. That's just fucking great. I didn't ask for any of this or the other crap that came with it. I feel like I'm being punished for being able to feel more than others. Take it away!