Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Reason Those Barriers Exist

We have barriers in our lives. Some are put there by others, while the ones I find most dangerous are the self-imposed barriers, the ones we place ourselves. Sometimes our subconscious does it without our knowledge, so how can we ever battle it out when we aren't aware of it despite our own doing? Every situation is different, but in my case I don't think barriers are meant to keep me away. I believe they're there for me to overcome it since I mistakenly placed them there as a safety precaution triggered by unfounded paranoia and insecurity.

I started a writing workshop and I found myself struggling to produce any material that might go into the book, you know a beginning, middle, and an end, an actual story. Of course, it doesn't have to go in that order. But much like a relationship, I've forgotten how it all began and am only left with the remaining feelings. How can I ever write a compelling story if all I'm able to express are the bad? That's nothing more than bitching.

To make this story readable, understandable, compelling, captivating, it has to be convincing. I have to share readers how it began for me, how I got hooked, an instrumental key to show why I was there and how the unraveling began in my presence. It turns out I haven't moved on like I thought I had. Life just happened, and I got distracted. It's not like I think about that part of my past. I do believe my emotionally attachment is a factor, but more importantly I don't remember the good. So I'll have to pull inspiration from others, and I can do that. I'm just amazed by how quickly the mind can eradicate the good when something toxic enters. Even memories which you'd think can be preserved get obliterated.

Well, when is life ever easy right? Sometimes barriers are meant to be overcome so we can feel accomplished. There's no pleasure in an easy task. We all like to feel worthy and sometimes the more barriers we build, the more desperate we are to overcome it cuz our fears and inadequacies are eating away at us and we want to shut it out for good.....

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