My horoscope says that for the month of June, the energy surrounding me is conducive to self-reflection and that career and romance is on the back burner, that I wouldn't have to concern myself with finances. This has so far been accurate. Several freelance jobs naturally fell apart either under mutual or incompatible circumstances. I have, however, procrastinated on pursuing personal emotional endeavors by allowing myself to be distracted. It's shockingly automatic to become enslaved to technology and habit. While I truly appreciate the modern convenience that both facebook and twitter offers me, it's become even more essential that I create boundaries for myself. When I step back from being on auto pilot, I realize that I'm consumed by the demand. So this time I've decided to write my long and overdue entry before I tackle anything else.
So much has happened and when it does, I think to myself how I should blog about it, but I never give myself the time to do just that. I read a book called "Feelings Matter" and the way I was granted access to that book is quite magical. A good friend of mine lent it to me. I had mentioned how much I wanted to read it and perhaps even borrow it at one point as I held it in my hand and began reading it. But for some reason I wasn't inclined to ask if I could. A year or so later, he found himself donating a bunch of books and somehow that one managed to escape the herd of books by hiding in a sneaky spot in the car. =P
The more I read it, the more I understood why I was so drawn to it but it wasn't until the last twenty pages that I absorbed it and realized that I want to own my own copy. It's marvelous when I read books like that. I'm currently reading the Guide to Simple Living. It talks about the beauty and benefits of living a simple life. While not everything is new, it's presented in a way I'm receptive to. I also gravitate towards the message because of how much I've changed and grown.
Lately I've been wanting to indulge by going to a sushi restaurant. I don't usually crave the dining experience, just the delicious food but something about the environment is very enticing to me as of late. I've been working so hard that when I've been granted a break, I realized that I was at a loss about who to call and go out with. This is surprising considering how social I am.
I love freelance work because although I have to work hard and hustle to gain employment, I get to pick and choose the assignments I'm a part of. I welcome the stress and thrill it brings me. After all everything has its drawbacks. It's a matter of finding what works for us. This is actually the philosophy and tone of the book I'm currently reading takes. Anyway my job surrounds me with people and my friends, so I was surprised to realize that I haven't done the social thing in a really long while. Maybe that's why I want that sushi experience.
I lost touch with a lot of friends and somewhere in the process I must've lost touch with myself. When we don't take time for ourselves, we aren't able to fully give ourselves to others and be there for them the way they both need and deserve for us to be. Lately I'm reminded of that because when I call my friends, I'm able to reach them and have had some of the most meaningful and cathartic conversations of my life. The universe is providing me with the opportunity to connect with people on a deeper level. It's a beautiful experience and I hope that everyone creates the space necessary in their lives to share these kinds of moments with their loved ones.