Not too long ago, I went hiking with a friend of mine that I adamantly insisted I HAD to go hiking with. It was an exchange of spiritual energy, insights, and wisdom. He recommended a book his girlfriend has called Celestine Prophecy because it includes all the details we discussed. When I read the description I was amazed, entranced, and happily relieved by the idea that topics such as these have been written. Perhaps I shouldn't be too surprised, but it's never crossed my mind to search for a book that covers the concerns I've invested quite a bit of time dwelling on.
It opened my eyes and consciousness to where my thoughts and effort are focused on. Rather than expressing my concerns and choosing to meditate and manifesting opportunities and resources to overcome them, I repeatedly highlight my struggles. While I do want to transcend to the next level where the complaints don't exist, that's not the energy I'm releasing into the universe. So my true desire to elevate from that is muffled and as a result takes much, much longer to be heard and come true.
This experience has made me realize that in the future when I dislike a certain circumstance, I'm going to retreat to a silent meditation. I'm more drawn to the types of meditation where I focus on my desires, but sometimes what I want may not be the best thing or what the universe is most attuned to at this point in my life. By being still and silent, I invite the universe to vibrate with what's best for me. But I have to allow myself this time.
By experiencing how much I appreciate discovering this book is a true encouragement to channel my energy more conducively to my self-growth. This book offers 9 key insights into life with the belief that insights each human being experiences is predicted to grasp sequentially, one insight, then another... Ancient wisdom reveals how to make connections between these events that occur in our lives at this moment in time and shows us how to see what's going to happen in the years to come. This guidebook crystallizes our perceptions to understand why we're where we are in life and to direct us toward a new energy.
Several years ago before I realized that I wasn't a 9-5 person and was trying to be a part of that world, the universe was ruthlessly trying to divert me from that path. Unbelievable things occurred. The train which was only two stops away would shut down, the doors wouldn't open, the tracks suspended, I got trapped in the elevator, the door to my job was locked, my computer wouldn't turn on, my headset would malfunction only when I was using it, and the most startling experience was when my foot got trapped and injured when it got stuck inside those water drainers on the street. After all of these things happened and I felt defeated, my stubbornness burned inside of me and I refused to let these barriers define my life. I was resentful of those around me who have been able to keep this steady job and was desperate to hang on to it. The next day I lost my voice, and I worked at a call center...
That's probably the first time I let go of my stubbornness. Truthfully I was scared. At this point I accepted that the universe has been trying to communicate with me and rather aggressively. I was frightened by what would happen to me next if I persisted and knew immediately that I had to make a change.
For the first time since then, the universe has been trying to deviate me from the path I'm on. I've come across two forms of barriers - ones that are challenging and presented as an opportunity for us to learn, grow, and overcome them, while the second barriers were put in place to prevent us from leading down the path we're on. You know when you're rushing in traffic and frustrated that you aren't moving forward only to realize that you avoided a few accidents? It's like that but less intense.
I submitted for a job that focuses on healthy living. Being passionate about holistic nutrition and by fully embracing the beauty that promos allow me the chance to truly express who I am, I wrote beautifully about my philosophy and my love for cooking, gardening, and a holistic lifestyle. An agency immediately loved me and reached out to me several times when I was unable to respond because I've been so busy. I had a skype interview and I was asked about my experiences which included but not limited to Team Lead responsibilities. That wasn't the position I submitted for, but that was the job offered to me.
It involved transportation responsibilities such as picking up and dropping off inventory, things I prefer to not do. I usually inform the agency that unfortunately I don't drive and I want to make sure that I can commit to any jobs I accept and that the responsibilities included aren't well-suited for me. My honesty is appreciated and I offer references, as well. That cordial interaction leaves a positive memory in their minds and often times I get work from them down the line. But this job offered a branded vehicle that covers the expense of mileage, gas, and time.
I was also told that I'd have at least a month's notice before a job takes place but that they wanted to start training me. They asked me what my schedule was and when I let them know, I somehow found that I volunteered myself as a Team Lead for a promo that same week... Quite a bit of product and a large cooler had to be transported and I don't have a car... My arrangements to find transportation kept falling through. The time went from 8 am to 10 am. The inventory was supposed to arrive on Thursday, but there was a delay. I still had a large cooler to pick up and training to attend to. My friend who was supposed to pick me up should've been off of work by 2 pm but was informed that day that she'd be working until 4 pm only to work past 5 pm... I left the office awkwardly trying to give the impression that I was running off to meet a friend who came to pick me up when no one was in sight...
I walked two miles with a large cooler almost as tall as me, frustrated to no end. At this point I didn't hear from my friend or know at all where she was or what was going on. I decided to take the bus for the last two blocks only to learn that the bus that was going in the right direction was taking a detour. So I was left contemplating and reflecting the signs that revealed that this path isn't for me. This left me no time to get my phone replaced, either, which was my next plan for the day. All of this happened on Thursday.
When I finally got off where I needed to be, I sat down on the cement ground and began sobbing. Not because I had to carry a heavy cooler. When I first moved to LA and had no friends, I moved a full size fridge on a dolley and walked it over a mile to my new place. I was crying because I've been reading the Simple Living Guide and it emphasizes awareness. I've been reading the words that shares the value of really experiencing things, so we can understand them and not be a victim to absent-mindedness. I loved the message but failed to practice it and I had no idea. When the universe kept putting the brakes on my chaotic missions, I realized that my life has become a domino effect of one bad barrier after another that I mindlessly kept trying to force pass.
The shipment arrived on Friday, but I was already booked on something else which forced me to pick it up at FedEx shortly before the event took place. At this point everyone at the agency was too busy frantically trying to locate and expedite this delayed and missing shipment, while simultaneously finding a FedEx where I could pick it up before the event. The shipment detail was never sent to me as it should have because it was sent to yahoo. I don't have yahoo... And there was concern that my name wasn't spelled correctly, so there could be a problem picking up the package. I also had to pick up dry ice from Smart & Final. None of this was feasible without my own transportation.
A friend of mine fortunately found me assistance, but I cut it really close. These complications weren't the fault of the agency, and we were all burdened by it. But the truth is that I feel like it happened because I was where I'm not meant to be and it affected everyone else involved. Because of my insistent manifestation and priority that I didn't want to jeopardize my professionalism and I wanted so much to make this work because these people are so wonderful, I believe it worked out. But it was a painful process.
FedEx couldn't locate the package, but their record indicated that it was there. Then they couldn't find all of the packages, which took time to retrieve. I technically didn't arrive late, but this is an all-girl staff and all 5 people involved were incredibly chatty and repetitive. It wasn't necessary for every person in the thread to follow up and ask and share every detail of my status, but it kept happening. It added to my stress!
I'm so grateful that the day is over. I ended up having to take the bus home again with this stupid giant cooler, which I suspect I'll have to do again to return! Sadly it's preferable because I'm reminded that people are unreliable. A friend and I had a terrible miscommunication. I specifically asked him if he could take me and he said yes, but he thought I was talking about taking me to a commercial that was taking place after this promo. There were constant signs that I was referring to this promo especially since when I first asked him, I didn't even know the commercial's call time. This is why I was begging for help the day before the promo because I was under the false impression that this was secured. I had another friend who was adamant that she'd come get me because she wanted me to take my things I left at her place. It's an OCD that she has. She was more stressed about returning a stupid pineapple than being concerned that I could barely carry this cooler only for her to say that I should find other arrangements because she'd be there so late. I was livid! Then I took the bus back when someone was coming in my direction because she had other plans. I was merely asking her to drop me off to wherever she was going to because I could walk home from there, and that was too much of a burden for her. So it took me almost four hours to get home. Another friend who said he'd get back to me at noon about picking me up hasn't reached out to me at all.
I don't like being resentful because others aren't able to take care of me, but this overwhelming amount of people going back on their word has been a stressful and infuriating experience I don't want it to happen again. Thank goodness for my friend who so responsively found someone who could help me out and for her energy. Because she's reliable, honest, and true to her word, she attracts people with the same integrity. This stranger who's now become one of the most reliable people I know has saved me and rejuvenated my faith in the kindness of others.
With that said, after finishing this entry, I'm going to send in my paperwork with an email explaining why I'm not suited for this position even with a branded vehicle. It'd take time to get to the vehicle. When unexpected things arise with packaging as it often does, I may not be able to accommodate. Whoever takes this role should have the flexibility to adapt their schedule as needed. That isn't me.
My goal is to meditate on what is for me and to connect with that vibrational energy.
**Too lazy to edit, so sorry for any typos and errors**