Monday, July 2, 2012

When I Lose Touch with my Inner Goddess

I'm not a religious person; I'm more spiritual, if anything. I'm inclined to say that I believe in a Higher Being, although I feel less certainty now as I express this than years ago. I can confidently say that I believe there's a power greater than all of us and we're all connected to it. What that is, I couldn't even speculate.

Actually as my fingers keep typing away, I realize that isn't true. This greater power I believe we're all connected to could be a Higher Being. Or maybe it's the collective power innate in all of us that I sense. I believe each of us has the ability to manifest our desires. Some are better at it than others and variations exist just like we are as people. Some are tall, some are short, some are smart, some are sadly stupid, some are weak, some are strong....and so forth. Not everyone can manifest their abilities as easily as others.

I'd like to believe that I'm sensing the collective energy innate in all of us cuz it's an empowering idea. It's within our control to manifest our desires, materialize our dreams, and bring them to life. Even if a Higher Being does exist, I believe that it's still within our powers to achieve what we want out of life and too many of us (myself included) seek out external sources of assistances, rather than relying on our inner strength. This presence of power that exists in each of us is a marvelous thing, so I'm going to refer to it as our inner God or Goddess.

I, by no means, mean no disrespect to anyone who may find offense to my philosophy. I'm not trying to undermine any Higher Being. But since I'm not religious and I don't go to church, this is my equivalent. I hear people talk about how am imbalance is created when they lose touch with God and/or stop going to church, and when they reconnect, they're reminded of this ominous presence that empowers them. Well I don't go to church, but my body is my temple. And when I lose touch with myself, my soul that resides within my physical body that I'm going to refer to as my inner Goddess, a similar sense of imbalance occurs.

My life became stagnant and listless as I became discouraged. And I resisted in continuing to write about the same struggles cuz it was only perpetuating the energy I wanted to transform. But that led to my absence and negligence of this blog. Since I had nothing to write about, why even visit? I contaminated other aspects of my life with this same discouraging mentality.

I'm not quite sure when things shifted for me, and I can't even articulate the change. It's so slight that I'm even vulnerable to a relapse. You know when you're struggling and the pain dominates your life? It's so overwhelming and you can't escape it. As abstract and obscure as it is, people find a way to express it in a detail that's universal and tangible to many others who are going through the same thing or have once felt the same way. Yet when we overcome it, it's a liberating feeling but it's a process that can't quite transfer on paper or in this case the virtual world. I'm not quite sure why that is, but it's a personal, private accomplishment. It's one of the most life changing experiences. People have written books on how to get there, but the actual transition is this invisible force, unwritten and unrecorded. However evident it is when we're transformed by it.

I just want to take this moment and remember what happens when I lose touch with my Inner Goddess, so I'm more conscientious and continue to deepen my connection.

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