Quite a bit has happened since my last entry since it's been a while... My long term health concern has been resolved. It's been a bittersweet experience. I'm grateful that the problem has been identified and corrected. However after uncovering the problem, it's frustrating to think of how unavoidable the delay in treatment and identification could have been. But what's past is past, right? :)
As I intuitively suspected, this was rooted in a gynecological issue. My complex cyst has been removed during a laparoscopy. There were some unexpected complications. Thankfully my ovary is intact. It was touch and go for a moment there. It was discovered that I have endometriosis and chronic inflammation. My left fallopian tube and left ovary was so swollen that it was pushing my uterus down! No wonder why I was in so much pain! That accounted for the unidentified pain. Unfortuately my fallopian tube was removed cuz it was damaged beyond repair, and the only purpose it was serving was to shift my uterus out of alignment. Given the circumstance, the removal of my tube was the best thing to do. I fully understand that, but my concern is endometriosis attacked my left fallopian tube. What's to say it won't do that to my remaining one?
That's a frightening notion especially since there's no cure for endometriosis and at best, birth contraceptives are used to manage the pain. I, however, have always reacted negatively to the pill. I've tried them all. The low dose caused heavy period and severe cramps that debilitated me during the day. The high dose caused severe leg pain so intense that it woke me from my sleep. I can't return to that. Even my gynecologist who was advocating for the pill said I have to weigh the risk. The truth is that I was in a lot of pain and I ended up being hospitalized, so it's serious. But I was still far less debilitated when my organs were being pushed down than how my body was reacting to the pill.
I'm not a medical expert, and I can't guarantee that the decision I'm going to make is the right one. But I refuse to do something that's going to make me feel worse. So I've decided to explore alternative options such as acupuncture. I was recommended someone who specializes in endometriosis. We'll see where that lands me.
I'm finally able to look for work. I'm manifesting a job at the library at a specific location. The pay works wonderfully for me and will allow me to pursue other interests. I spend so much time at the library anyways. Please send positive energy my way to manifest this desire! I'm also waiting to heal, so I can return to modeling. I'm looking for Asian modeling agencies and other companies that are looking for my demographic :)
I created this title, but this experience has made me realize what people are able to conceal. My body hid this huge health problem and although it was trying to cry out to me, the truth is that it expertly hid quite a bit. Upon uncovering aspects of some of my friends attitudes, it's given me another dimension in my perspective. But I'm not inclined to express it right now, so that'll be for another entry. :)