Why is it that when my schedule is open that I find the time for priorities, but when I don't have other responsibilities, I can't seem to do anything? I can't go to school because I don't work. I don't work, so I can't go to school. I have debt up the ass because I don't work, although that's progressively working towards an improvement. I avoided my furniture going to auction because I couldn't pay it off.
I suppose I'm lucky to even be getting temp jobs, but they're hardly stable. I'm at a point in my life where my situation allows me to sustain my current lifestyle, but I can't move forward the way things are. I want to move out of where I am. I want a stable job. Once my debt clears, my only expenses will be rent and storage mostly. I go to food banks for food, and that's more than sufficient.
I've stopped desiring indulgences like movies and going out. I've gotten to a point in my life where I've gotten used to this stump, and I don't like it! Pout! I feel too lazy to want indulgences, and while they are "indulgences" they're a lot more justified than you would think. Lots of girls want accessories and clothes. It's not always necessary, but I don't have a purse AT ALL except one that doesn't fit anything and is held together by both string and wire. It's a liability to walk around with just my wallet because I tend to forget it at places. I think I deserve a new purse. Thank God the weather's hot again! I have clothes for it. When it was raining, I couldn't properly protect myself. Now it's skirt season! That's something I'm happy about it.
I have to reunite with the old me! I want to want desires. I want my edge back! I miss the ruthless writer in me. I'm making baby steps back into my life. But I haven't even taken the time to proofread this. My actions and choices led me to where I am today. It isn't fortunate in many conventional ways, but it's provided me with an opportunity I would've never had. And I plan to pursue it! It's time to turn poison into medicine!