Sunday, February 21, 2010

An Experience of Birthdays, Days 51 and 52

It's fascinating how experiences are so powerful that they have the ability to define or re-establish what we once believed to be true in a matter of moments. Early into the day I brainstormed about what this blog entry would be like and it re-shaped multiple times beginning with "Happy Birthday to Me" which carried a positive but not quite accurate tone to a title I can't recall right now. It expressed that it was my birthday in a more narrative tone, while this one hints at experiences. While I am a cynical person, I'm not cynical about my birthday. I've never been excited about my birthday because most of them turned out terribly, but I'm not convinced they'll be awful every year. I just don't treat it like a different day the way most people do. It's just not important enough to me. I'm rather neutral about it.

With facebook, though, I've had friends asking me what my plans are. To this day I feel like the previous year hasn't ended because I haven't had my ritual Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, so people asking me about my birthday was a shock attack for me. Nuts, right? I'm fully aware of how off the wall that seems. But I feel how I feel. What can I say?

Then something amazing happened. I wish I can enjoy it more considering the environment I'm in right now, but I like how it made me feel and the perspective. I was disappointed because my boyfriend was gone during my birthday. He came back with a birthday present - perfume and the best card I'd ever been given. He wrote such a long note there for me because he knows I'm an aspiring writer, so he's aware of how much I value writing. It really touched me.

The card itself represents the kind of person he is, and I like that a lot! It's nice to get cards that my friends know I'll like. But when it comes to a boyfriend, I find that a card he chooses for me is telling. He wrote that my birthday is important because it celebrates my life and for my friends and family, it celebrates the new me. I never thought about it that way. I read the card a couple times and each time it makes my heart smile.

It meant a lot to me because I was thinking that this year I'd love to use my birthday as an excuse to see friends I haven't seen in a while. Ever since I've allowed facebook public searches for me, I couldn't be happier! A much older friend who's like a mother to me found me. I was so grateful to find her there. I miss her so much! A good friend from high school found me when he finally opened a facebook account. We live six hours apart and he said that he'd come down to help me move. How incredibly sweet and awesome would that be? We really want to hang out and we're so much more likely to find the time if an occasion calls for it. It's so sweet that he'd be willing to put in manual labor at that! Another friend of mine from middle school gave me a copy of his keys when I was having family problems, so I would always have a place to stay. And another friend who let me stay with him when I was having family problems now lives in Japan. I was going to move there if I didn't get the classes I wanted. I have some amazing friends! I'd love to catch up with them!

I want to spend my birthday with people who mean a lot to me, which is why I was so disappointed when my boyfriend had to be away for the weekend. I wondered why I was bummed out when I tell myself that my birthday isn't that big of a deal. Then when I read what he wrote for me, it all made sense. Of course I'd be sad if I couldn't spend my birthday with someone that amazing! He said we can celebrate it later, and I intend on doing that!

I haven't figured everything out, but I know I want to have an exclusive just us celebration. I'd love to have a picnic date. People say lunch dates aren't dates, but I disagree with that bigoted notion. I love the idea of having a date when the sun is shining outside where I get to enjoy the fresh air and be comfortable because I'm sitting on a nice blanket. Yet versatility allows me to dress up in something like a sundress. I've never had a picnic and always wanted to go. I bought a picnic basket and all it's doing is storing my checks. What I'd like to see happen is a picnic date at a nice park on a sunny day right underneath a slightly shaded tree with homemade food and maybe a book that we can take turns reading like a poetry book. Is that lame? Even if it is, I don't care! That's what I want and a pretty sundress to boot! Without boots, though.

What ended up happening was a series of adventures. A bunch of people partying in my unit in a way this old hag vehemently argues is amateur both disappointed me for the younger generation while simultaneously depressing me that I've officially become the old grinch criticizing the younger generation. I was hiding out in at a friend's place when I nonchalantly mentioned that it was my birthday. Some of them were in disbelief and then a birthday song followed. This was during some outrageous hour. I didn't leave until 3 or 4 am.

Later on in the day we had made plans to go to a Vietnamese Festival which was like a carnival. That was actually a lot of fun! My new friend who by the way was awesome enough to color my hair half an hour before we had planned to leave colored it! Four of us went to Target and picked out a color for me and asking some random customer her opinion, too. We went on this ride where you can spin if you try really hard. Both of us being so skinny it required effort, but we did it! And yummy Viet porridge, too, we had! ^_^

Then we had made plans to go to a boba place, which could've been fun except I was overwhelmed with guilt and inappropriateness. They wanted to play the game kiss and blow where you kiss the person next to you with a kleenex stuck between you. Being 26 that day no less made me feel so old especially since some of them just became teenagers!!! So instead I hung out with two friends I hadn't seen in a while to grab a bite to eat. That was a lot of fun. And along the way I ran into two other friends I hadn't seen in a while.

One friend and I spent hours in the car talking about....well A LOT! I found a new buddy to have off-the-wall tangents with :) It was nearing 6 am, so she started driving me home when I really had to pee! I swear we stopped at over five places and something or another prevented me from peeing!!! Out of service, an unusual wait, closed sign, something, anything! It's like we were hunting for a toilet! Fortunately we found a place thank Gawd because there was a marathon right by my house and it took longer than it should have to drop me off. An eventful but fun birthday!

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