Thursday, July 30, 2009

Moving Season, Day 4

It seems like everyone's moving this month, and my friend noticed a correlation that when I move, everyone else in his life moves. He said the key to him finding peace is if for me to stay put in one place. I do feel like I move so much, and I don't stay still for very long. I've hit a point in my life where I no longer enjoy the learning experiences I gain from constantly moving. I used to perceive getting comfortable in one place as being stagnant. While I believe that can become a possibility, I'm beginning to learn that constantly moving around doesn't allow me to grow. When you plant something and expect it to grow, you have to put it in the ground, into the earth. That's something I've never allowed myself to do. How can I expect to grow if I don't do what's required?

Moving is considered the most stressful time for a person, equivalent to experiencing the loss of a loved one. Yet I used to love moving. I liked last minute packing and the rush of making sure that everything's transported, but everything was always intentionally last minute. It's like I was addicted to stress. It's all I knew. At least by voluntarily moving I controlled the outcome. Since I've learned to not stress so much, I've slowed down a bit. I can feel how much it weighs on me and sense how much it weighs on others. I'm ready to be immersed into the ground so that I can be transformed. Being still and connected to the world I want so much to be a part of will give me a chance to see where the air is moving. In Wiccan and other practices, the direction the air is blowing is significant and meaningful. I barely even notice my own breath. With that said, I also know the value in doing things that are right for me. I fear that another move will shortly arise, and the best choice for me is to pursue it. As much as I want to dig myself into the earth, I know the difference between indulging in stress and the value of learning experiences.

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