Crazy Yet Dead Inside, Day 91

Why is it that my life is surrounded by craziness and yet I feel dead inside as though nothing is happening. I can understand why I feel like I'm not moving forward because I'm not! I wish I were, but I'm just in this standby mode or paralleled and isolated in a universe where everyone else is moving but me. I have to get out of this place! I don't just mean where I am in life but where I live!

I sent an email to a friend who moved away from here, updating him on the chaos of this life he left behind. It's crazy that he's gone. It's nuts what happens at this place. Yet I feel paralyzed in it. It used to be that craziness spiraled into insanity and chaos. I'd feel like I was going to fall off from a roller coaster I wasn't properly strapped in to. The abnormality of it all has turned into mundane. Lame! Something has to change.